So, with the birth coming any day now, I have had birth parents on my mind a lot today. Here is what has been running through my thoughts as a kind of “letter to my children’s birth Parents”…
I don’t know what you had planned for your life. What your dreams have been or whether or not any of them have come true. I can only assume that finding yourself in a situation where you have to make a choice about adoption for your child was probably not in the plan. Probably not in the story you had in mind for yourself. Or your child. Maybe you dreamed of being a concert pianist, a doctor or a professor. Maybe you dreamed of having a nice, quiet life with the white picket fence and a two car garage. I will probably never know.
But I want you to know this – With this precious, selfless gift you have made all of my dreams come true. Although infertility was not a part of the story I once wrote for my life, I was absolutely put on this earth to be a mother. I didn’t always know how that was going to happen, but knew it was meant for me. My relationship with my own mother is strained and difficult, but I’ve always believed that it doesn’t have to be that way. Mother-child relationships should be beautiful. Filled with unconditional love, support, understanding and mutual respect. Giving children the tools to be whatever they want to be. Wanting to hold tight and protect them every second, but letting go anyway. That is what being a mother is. Living that belief, creating that lifestyle every day, is the very reason that I get up in the morning and what keeps me going when times are tough. Even though it may sound odd, I honestly was not a whole person until the day you put this child – your child – into my arms and allowed me the chance to be a Momma. I want you to know that not a single day goes by without me thinking about you and your gift to me. It is sacred and beautiful.
Thank you. Thank you for entrusting me with this amazing little person. I will never succeed at doing everything right, but I promise to try.