So, this afternoon, I was told by the agency that I am not allowed to write a blog about this journey. Nothing at all that can be seen publicly. Not one word.
Well, I cannot stop writing this blog. It has become my therapy and I will continue to write it for as long as I need to. I have to have a place to put down in words how/what I am feeling. That’s just the way it is. Sorry. If I must make it private only to me, then so be it. But I will not stop writing.
Which brings me to this… if you would like to continue to read my posts I need you to contact me personally and privately. After we are clear that nothing can be re-posted or shared without permission then I will give you the password to the protected posts. It is important to me that this is available to friends and family. Talking about it over and over again to everyone who calls to see how things are going is very difficult. I want all of you out there who love us to be a part of this journey, I just can’t talk about it daily, it is too stressful and too hard.
I will continue to make public this post and following posts which have nothing to do with details about the birth family or our current situation.
Anyway, now I am totally freaked out (again) after talking to the agency. At first when we voiced our concerns they kept saying how this was going to happen, not to worry, everyone involved was committed to this adoption taking place, we are “moving forward” and that everything was fine. Now, I get the call saying not to talk about this publicly, not to buy anything yet, not to plan on sending out birth announcements until everything is final and that everyone is still “processing”. WTF?
Looks like another sleepless night for me.